Monday, February 11, 2013

Friendships Should Be Easy

Today is two of my friend's birthdays and if they are reading this then I would like to wish them to have a great one!  I have known the one for over twenty years and the other for about two.  They are both amazing and talented and I am thankful they are my friends.  The one is so crafty and makes the most amazing crafty things for her daughter.  I am a bit envious I must admit since I don't have much craft in my body.  The other is probably the most talented photographer I have ever met.  She captures the inner part of people and can make you look like a beauty queen even in your bathrobe.  I did say amazing, right?

Anyway, both girlfriends make friendships seem easy.  I don't see the one very often and the last time I saw her was last summer, but it seemed like yesterday and we did not miss a beat.  I told her once years ago that if we had nothing in common and were just hanging onto the friendship for the nostalgia then lets call a spade, a spade and end the friendship.  I am happy to say it hasn't happened and we find new things to discuss.  I love that about her and our friendship.

However, most of us have friendships which should have been cut a long time ago.  We hold onto them and try to resurrect them from six feet under and really they should lay buried.  I cut a few relationships not that long ago and it was pretty painful.  I don't think I even understood why it happened, but it did.  We just stopped having things in common especially after I had my daughter.  One I realized I haven't spoken with her for about two years and I'm okay with letting it silently die that way.  My college days were a long time ago and we had a great time back then.

I have found I have things in common with other mommies.  I think that is the biggest thing about friendship.  If you cannot move forward then you are stuck in a rut and can't find common ground.  So why is it so hard to let go?  To admit we no longer have anything in common?  Is it ingrained deep down in us to save and nurture that we sometimes forget that friendships should continue to grow?

I always hope to have things in common with my girlfriends.  They are sweet, caring, and easy going.  There are no hidden agendas and no cattiness in our relationships.  I can tease the one about getting old although I am and always will be four months older than she.  When we were 21 that was pure ummm not so much!  I find a similar sense of humor in my other girlfriend and a flexibility I truly enjoy.  If we happen to be running a half hour late, its not the end of the world.  You know those friends who keep a stop watch tapping their foot.  That is not fun and easy.  So cling to your girlfriends who bring out that funny side of you and who make it easy.  The judgmental rest why don't you just bury them now?  Do you really have time to keep up with that now being a mommy?

To my girlfriends:  Here is your Birthday video clip!

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