Sunday, March 24, 2013

Excuse Me

Yes, I'm not sure why people have a hard time with this concept.  Its as if you are asking them to save the earth by saying this one little phrase.  There was a woman hogging the aisle in front of the register where people normally come and go.  I walked by her and politely said excuse me and she did move a little forward.  She still had a good 3 feet between her and the person in front of her.  When I came back with what I needed it looked as if she had taken one large step back making the space crowded again.  I said excuse me and she did not move, I said it again and she still did not move, and so finally I said excuse me with more emphasis and she barely took half a step forward.  I said loud enough, "really?"  What a flipping #$#%#$#.  You get the picture!  Maybe it was due to her perfect outfit she could not get any closer to the register and the person in front of her.  As she climbed into her new SUV, I couldn't help thinking that maybe karma would catch up with her today.

So why did she not move?  Did she think that a pregnant person walking a toddler could squeeze in the small space behind her?  As I start feeling as if I'm more of a waddling duck than a svelte sexy beast, I realize I need more space to waddle.  It is amazing to me that a little future 8 pound baby could make doing the simplest tasks so difficult.  Pulling out the laundry from the washer to the dryer is definitely a challenge these days.  I really cannot wait to be agile again.  It doesn't help either that our laundry space is tiny.

Maybe I'm venting about one stupid person of the day though.  We all run into them from time to time and we constantly think about if we could have done something different.  What if I had said "entshuldigen Sie bitte" which means the same thing, but in German? Would saying it in a different language had made more sense to her?  I'm thinking not, but hey next time I run into some snobby middle-class #$%$#%, I'm going to try it!  Now I have heard some people think the phrase "excuse me" is considered rude.  Where I grew up it was considered something a polite person would do.  It is better than elbowing someone as you walk by and saying "oh my apologies, I didn't see you hogging the aisle at all!"

I was once in the library where there are rows upon rows of glorious books hogging the shelves.  I was in the back looking at this one small section of books when this lady came and stood right next to me.  She was actually almost physically touching me as I stood looking at this one small section.  I was dumbfounded she had the nerve to do such a thing.  She was a bit older so maybe space was a new concept for her, but I couldn't help thinking she didn't have much patience if she needed to look at the same section of books.  I would have loved to have heard "excuse me" then.  Yes, I enjoy my space and no I'm not a hugger and when someone is breathing down my neck anymore, I have no issue in asking them if they could step back a bit.  I do use my favorite phrase in asking them, but for whatever reason people get offended when you ask them politely you no longer want to smell their breath on your neck.

Sometimes the smell for a pregnant woman is so strong, you are ready to heave ho right there in the aisle and yes, I have used that so they are less offended.  However, if you are not my husband I do NOT want you touching me.  Best line I ever used when I was working in retail was "excuse me you are invading my territorial bubble."  See thats what I need to start using again after all these years.  Maybe thats a funnier way of saying "hey dude step back before I punch you."  See I knew my venting would lead me to greater insight on something!  I actually got the line from a movie called the Frighteners with Michael J. Fox.  It is not exactly said this way, but I made the line my own and no one was ever offended by me saying it.  They were just made aware they were too close for my comfort and come on its better than the Dirty Dancing line of my space and this is your space line.  Best part of this scene is they actually use the words, "Excuse Me!"

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