PURGE PURGE PURGE! If you have been wondering what happened to me, I guess you could say I'm in moving nightmare. I have found VHS and cassette tapes and of course thought what do I do with these? I found one that stated my graduation date for my bachelor's degree and wondered how skinny I must have looked in that...you know those videos of pre-babies and before my life of diastasis recti and spanx. So if you have tapes and before the technology goes completely away that you can get the video off of these tapes then start hunting for a place to get these "I wish I still looked like that" moments off of them.
I know some places charge $20 per every two tapes and I think that is a scam. If you have a bit of geekism then invest in doing it yourself. Its probably what we will do after this move. I do plan to take them with me on the first journey and to make sure they get done. The cassettes were easy and we found a device on amazon to help get the recordings off of them. I wish I had known about it a month ago or else I think we would have been doing this, but we just came across the box I had completely forgotten about it. Hey, at least I am selling my old stereo for $30 which of course takes up a huge cargo container. I seriously don't need to keep something like that and technology has advanced to the point I will most likely never use it again. Yep, purge now before you think wow why did I keep this! Top that with now you have kids and space is a much coveted thing especially when you have two!!!
So those bottles of wine I have probably should go to good use while I'm packing! Maybe if I convince everyone to stop by I can have a packing party!!! Of course this probably won't happen, but its a nice dream for me. :)
So I used to do forestry work about a decade ago and I could lug around a chainsaw with ease. Today though is a different story. I am frumpy, poochy, and just feel more like Jaba the Hutt than Princess Leia. Although I don't think I ever felt like her in the first place, but I think you get the picture. I have found out that my muscles tore apart and its going to take some time to get them to close again. It is called diastasis recti and you literally have no abdomen strength. There is a hole in your abdomen muscles and your organs are exposed till you can get the muscles to bind back together. I asked my physical therapist how long it took for her to close the gap and she admitted to me it took a year...WTF?!? A whole year?!?
Geez this whole business of having babies definitely takes a toll on your body and if you are a man then spare me the I understand phrase. Yes I get that you made the choice to become a couch potato and to lose your definition. My choice was to have a baby, but not in a million years did I think it would lead to a gaping hole in my abdomen. I guess it is more likely to occur with subsequent pregnancies and yet it is not frequently discussed amongst pregnant women. I had never heard of it till my physical therapist showed me why I was struggling just to pick up my daughter.
Well I'm on my way to recovery and who knew that I would be pulling up a pair of spanx over my jiggles. I certainly had no clue that diastasis recti would make me succumb to buying a pair of spanx. I mean who wants to wear a binding like corset in this day and age. Now I don't wear it all the time, but if I am doing a lot of activity then its definitely spanx time! Good news is that after wearing the one size for about a week, I'm almost ready to jump into the smaller size that they have. On a good note, I found out that wearing it has helped the gap get smaller. I really wish I had tried it earlier and I keep telling my pregnant girlfriends that they need to think of spanx the moment they have that baby.
Now there are exercises you can do to help heal and I wear the spanx when doing them. I kind of visualize the muscles coming closer together as I do them. I can't help, but think "knit faster, knit faster." A girlfriend of mine suggested kayaking and I thought wow I don't have the abdomen strength to do anything like that. I sometimes have to ask my husband to pick up our infant daughter from my arms and then help me up off the floor. Yeah, diastasis recti is no joke. So back to the exercises I'm rocking right now and I admit I don't find myself dedicating the time that I need to. I am just that busy most days. If you google Sahrmann exercises, you can find a plethora of information or watch the exercises on youtube. Best part is if you are a LOTR fan then you can conjure up the name it closely resembles. I swear I wondered what my physical therapist was saying the first time she pronounced it.
Anyway, please don't think you are some badass who can skip to exercise five before you complete the first one. This is not a race and as I said before diastasis recti is no joke. If you have ever done the 100 in pilates then the first step of moving your tummy to the ground should be an easy concept for you. Trust me I'm a long way off from ever doing those 100s. However, I'm not afraid to admit I'm not ready to do even one pilates move. You just had a baby so please be easy on yourself. I think this is even harder because we know how we once were.
Okay do you remember where I spoke about having too much stuff? I am blown away at how much stuff I truly do have! So about a month ago we got news we would be moving due to my husband's job. It has been about four years since we have moved anywhere and its amazing at how much has been accumulated in that time frame. I decided this month that I would spend trying to clear the clutter before taking the ceremonial moving step and taping a cardboard box and coming to terms with packing everything I own.
Now you might be saying, but ahhh just throw it in a box Kerri, who cares about how you pack. Well I could do that, but then the move takes twice as long to accomplish and then there is the unpacking on the other side. I have done quite a few moves in my time and this time I truly want to be organized. I want to pack the items I truly want in my life. The things I do not are either recycled, trashed, or given away to people. We had a garage sale a couple of weeks ago and I realized why I haven't done a sale since 2007. It is a lot easier to just give it away!!! I had a girlfriend who wished me luck because she said she was done with the haggling and being petty over small items. Overall it was a good sale and we were able to get rid of things. HOWEVER...you had to know that was coming! However, there was a gal who was bound and determined to get a brand new maternity gown for a dollar less. I finally sold her the item, but in all honesty I wish I hadn't. She was that snooty I could have gotten it cheaper at such and such store kind of person. What a pain and I seriously feel sorry for the kid she is going to have.
No I'm not sorry I just said that either. This is the truth blog so I will go ahead and admit it. Some people were not meant to be parents I don't think. Anyway, back to my move. Since we plan to go galavanting across the country I want to get rid of items. Yes, I have been giving things away free on a website I'm a member of. Well problems crop up on that site too. People want you to drive here or there for them to get something free or even worse never show up at the agreed location. One gal who failed to show up wanted another item I had posted and I politely told her that I was planning to give it to the next gal in line on the forum. She was upset about it and I told her I had held the first item for three days and she failed to come pick it up. Seriously, why would I waste my time in trying to give her another item? So there you go. My horror stories about giving away something for free. I do think that when the times come, I'll just make a large run to Goodwill, but I had wanted to give to people in need first. Why does that have to be so difficult?!?
Why must these things be even a part of our lives? If you have children, I think getting the cold is a sure sign you are a parent or at least work around parents. When we didn't have kids and hubby worked in the office he would still get a cold and bring it back to me. Well last week was a killer and I'm not sure even as I type this how I survived. I was miserable and I know I went through a couple of boxes of Kleenex. I learned a long time ago that instead of suffering the raw I blew my nose too many times look was to get the kleenex with lotion. You also don't know how bad colds can be till you are in the middle of suffering from one. I could barely skype that week because it made me so dizzy. I was lonely, in the middle of trying to just survive with two little ones, and I wanted my own mommy. I even told my mother that she should fly here just to take care of me. Hubby tried as best as he could to give me breaks and to let me sleep if he came home for lunch, but I felt I could go to bed and stay there the whole time. However, as a mom you just can't. Kudos to those moms who have to stay on bed rest during a pregnancy and have a toddler at the same time. I honestly don't know how they do it. My toddler tore my house apart and I didn't even have the energy to stop her.
I am just now catching up on laundry and yes I still did my towels on Monday. For those of you just reading this one page then you should go back to tips of the week because that is the day I picked to always wash my bathroom towels. I think it is important even when you are sick to try to maintain some level of sanity because it will just be worse when you wake up from your cold induced state. I knew the moment I started to feel better was when I started to clean the kitchen. It had looked like a mini bomb had gone off that whole week while I was out. No I hate to admit to that of course, but this is a mommy truth and I would hate for you to think I'm perfect. Ha! Didn't I tell you once about how I couldn't see how all these mommy blogs make themselves out to be so darn perfect looking? Well no mommy is perfect and if I ever come across as a know-it-all then call me out on it.
Hey, we could go back to the days of MTV when they actually played videos and had The Real World with that guy named Puck keeping it real for us. Please don't make me use their tag line of the series, but hopefully I keep it real enough on the blog that you aren't screaming FAKER as you read my last sentence. Anyway, you should look up what happened to Puck. I can't say I'm too surprised by how his life has turned out. He did antagonise the guy who was terminally ill and I can't say I feel sorry for Puck at all. I do believe in karma and although it might take a few years, it will eventually happen. Case in point, I had a classmate while growing up who was just mean mean mean. She tormented me and excluded me from all those reindeer games. Well I have found out she got a divorce because she was cheating on her husband and her kids really weren't too happy with her. I chalk it up to karma and how she treated not only me, but others around her. Funny she even told a mutual friend of ours to tell me hello and I thought wow miracles do happen! Although I don't foresee us singing kumbaya with one another anytime soon. It is hard to shake the memories of torment that I had to endure from her and others of her ilk.
As a mommy, I worry about this for my own kids because I don't want it to happen to them. I want them to grow up without the teasing and torment that happens so often in schools. I don't think adults are necessarily blind, but sometimes we are so overwhelmed with just trying to make it through the day especially when we are sick that we fail to see what is truly happening in front of us. I am sure it is a crossroads that will come up and how I answer their questions I don't know yet. I spent a good decade doing martial arts and a little part of me wants to teach them how to defend themselves against bullies and when you should just walk away. I know I started out whining about my summer cold and it materialised into whether or not I will teach my kids how to kick ass and take names instead. However, sometimes thats what blogging is all about and both colds and bullies ruin the fun albeit just in a different form. I suppose as a mommy, I probably shouldn't have used that word up above either, but come on I said I wasn't perfect and when is kicking someone's derriere sound tough? HA! I can guarantee you it doesn't. Say it out loud if you don't believe me. Did you do it? Well I have a little while before I decide if I need to teach them those things. Right now they need my love and for me to laugh with them as they swing and use the slides in the park. One mommy moment at a time. I'm afraid I'll blink and I'll be at their high school graduation next.
As chaos reigns, steal a moment. That is my best advice this week. The other day while our little girl was at the table making another mess and the baby in her bouncer, our paths crossed for just a moment and my husband and I hugged. It was probably the best moment for me. Don't forget you have a partner in crime and you NEED one another. I don't want to be an empty nester looking at this person beside me and finding myself that I don't know him any longer. These are what those stolen moments are for. It still might happen to us and I hope it doesn't, but I'm going to do my best to prevent from saying "I don't know you and I don't love you anymore." How cruel would that be? You just spent a couple of decades raising children together and now you don't have anything in common. We found common ground before children and survived quite a few years without them so its important to me to keep that connection alive.
Now you might scoff about one simple hug, but it can truly save your sanity and connect you to the person you decided to marry. Now I don't always listen to when I need to slow down and to provide that loving support. I'm frantic to solve the chaos going on at that very moment. However, the other day proved to me that I still need those moments and I'll try to accept them more. Thinking of hugs, I enjoy reading Dear Prudence and there was a woman who was getting hugs from a co-worker. She said her husband never wanted to provide any cuddling and she resorted to accepting hugs from another man. I think this is a dangerous realm for her to be in and I'm glad my hubby still wants to give me a hug. It made me realize how lucky I am! So steal a moment away with your spouse and enjoy it even as chaos reigns around you. The house isn't on fire so go ahead and get your hug today!!!
As Moms, we sometimes mistakenly drive around parking areas as if we are cruising the boulevard in the old days when we were young, dumb, and single. Instead of checking out who else is driving their vehicles, we look longingly at other vehicles to see if they are going to pull out of a parking spot closest to the store. Wait though! Just wait! Seriously, why are we checking out the areas closest to the store? Those parking spots shouldn't be even in your Mom Radar. The ones you really should be coveting are the ones closest to the cart holders. Okay so you might just leave the cart wherever if you are a Mom and don't want to leave the kids in the car to put the cart away. However, this truly solves your dilemma in regards to making sure the ever patrolling public doesn't accuse you of being a bad parent and you can truly place the cart where it belongs. Btw, bonus points if you can find a cart holder that has a couple of clean carts in it so you can put the kids right into the cart and push them into the store!
As I navigate the waters of having two children under the age of two, I'm besieged with a constant
messy house and trying to survive on very little of sleep. I keep hearing how children will be different and it is definitely true. Our toddler never slept and did not need to be held. Well during my pregnancy with this last one, I seem to recall telling hubby that I wanted a cuddler. Wow wow wow and wow! I should eat my words right now. Our baby wants to be held all the time...literally ALL THE TIME. Someone told me they got their business started while holding their baby, but I think the game changes when you have two of them. I have wanted to blog and the other day I tried writing a post. Really I did. I got the title completed that you see and two words, "As I." The baby started fussing and I had to stop. Although if it comes down to it, I think my kids are more important than my so called feelings on a blog. This isn't Doogie Howser where each episode you learn a lesson about life. I believe there was a 90s show called my so called life too. Claire Danes I thought was in that one. I'm so sleep deprived I'll let you research that one.
Yes, I'm very sleep deprived and instead of blogging I'll go and lay down to take a nap. Naps are rare because when one sleeps it seems the other wants to be awake. It is a tiny miracle when both are down at the same time and trust me I try to navigate this. The newborn who rarely wants to be put down gets heavy at times and I just need to rest. It is so crazy how different they are. I did read how newborns have the inability to comprehend you just put them down. They cannot tell if it was 30 seconds or 10 minutes. All they understand is they are not being held any longer. It really is the syndrome of What Have You Done For Me Lately. Those moments I desperately crave just two minutes by myself. Case in point, I have been trying to have a decaf cup of coffee this whole week. I need maybe three minutes to grind the beans, steam the milk, make the brew, and pour it into my coffee mug. Sounds very simple, but for a new mom it is NOT. Not at all. I can down a good cup of coffee in just a couple of minutes and even trying to juggle the kids, but it takes concentration to actually make it. Sadly it took me till today to find the time.
Well I am blogging for a brief moment and I am amazed I am actually working on a new post. Things I took for granted especially when I just had one baby in tow are now long gone. I think all mommies should feel like Gollum saying "Precious" when there is just a smidge of peace. Last night at almost midnight, I thought I would have a chance to write a condolence card and guess what?!? Hubby kept interrupting me discussing such mundane things as how he added more water to our cat's food dish so she would eat the rest of her meal. Yes I am being quite serious. I think your spouse, children, and even pets have this innate sense of when you are trying to accomplish something without them. They can happily spend hours in the same room with you not chatting with you very much then all of a sudden when faced with that you are not 100 percent focused on them, they strike. Have we been reduced to hiding in places our families can't find us? One mom told me today she shuts the door to the bathroom to get little things done. I don't want to resort to that. I want them to respect that I am not a door mat and for them to not fall into the same trap as my newborn. See What Have You Done For Me Lately Syndrome doesn't just affect the very young. It strikes at any age...
Now with this video I'm not trying to insinuate the rest of your family are sneaky little hobbits and you as Gollum, but dang the part where he says "he wants it, we needs it, must have the precious" is how I basically feel about alone time!!! Ha!
PURGE PURGE PURGE! If you have been wondering what happened to me, I guess you could say I'm in moving nightmare. I have found VHS and cassette tapes and of course thought what do I do with these? I found one that stated my graduation date for my bachelor's degree and wondered how skinny I must have looked in that...you know those videos of pre-babies and before my life of diastasis recti and spanx. So if you have tapes and before the technology goes completely away that you can get the video off of these tapes then start hunting for a place to get these "I wish I still looked like that" moments off of them. 
