Distracted Mommy Land

Yep, thats pretty much my life. I chuckle at myself thinking back to college and being so naive in thinking I knew what distractions were all about. Skipping class to go hiking? SURE, why not thats a GREAT distraction....Cue to Mommy Scene...Okay let me try to get laundry A out of the dryer, into a basket, and put laundry B into the dryer.  Nope someone is insisting on coming in to check on me to see if I'm okay. Wait you need something? Wow what a surprise there. Granted I'm asking for maybe four minutes tops in this scenario, but yes this is a perfect example of my constant distractions.

FlyLady talks about living in Chaos and I have to say she pretty sure knows what she's talking about. I did a FlyLady hotspot challenge the other day. She gives you two minutes to complete the task and I would have to say I only had two minutes without some kid distraction and I completed it. She usually asks to do fifteen minutes a day decluttering, but I no longer know what fifteen minutes uninterrupted looks like.

So you might be reading this and wondering how in the world I'm actually even typing this. Well thats a very good question and its due in part to my mommy internal clock telling me to get up. I do love these moments when everyone else is asleep and I can have a moment to myself. It doesn't happen often since my oldest seems to be a morning person....yep gotta run she is awake and senses me downstairs!

(To be continued)....

I've Fallen In Love AGAIN!

Okay so both toddlers are down!  I can actually spend a moment blogging.  I think after the cancer scare that I needed to refocus and to find what I loved once more.  I know this is going to sound crazy, but its the elliptical.  Now I don't own one and I have to find precious time to go there, but I've lost seven pounds already.  SEVEN!  I go when hubby gets off work or when the babysitter is here.  Yesterday, I was in a bit of a funk because my 16 month old seems to be having all her teeth come in at once and she has a cold on top of it.  As hubby said, its like Ghostbusters with the slime.  She slimed the crap out of me too the past few days.  I am still nursing her so if you can just understand I felt gross the whole time.  Anyway, last night I worked out at the gym and found how good it felt to get a workout in.  I had been struggling with fitting in my clothes and I know I'm fat.  Can we say that here?  I get the whole you should love your body after babies thing, but come on thats just words to me.  I needed to get up and move and move I did.  So its been a month since I started my quest for looking better and now I'm once again fitting in my clothes.  Its a good feeling.  I had a girlfriend who thought I was pregnant and so did this nicer older lady and I wasn't offended at all lol.  I probably should have been, but it made me more motivated to shed some pounds.

The first time I worked out, I had on my largest clothes and I even resorted at times to wearing hubby's workout clothes because my medium shorts didn't fit me.  Actually, I walked in wearing his I think and the guy checking people in had this smirk of you shouldn't even be here.  Well he was carrying a few pounds himself and had this Hitler mustache thing going on and it just made me want to lose the weight that much more.  I'm here to tell you that kind of behavior motivates me more to change.  If you are reading this and need to shed a few pounds then make it count.  Don't let their negativity pull you under and you'll see results.  Don't hide behind the complacent remarks that you look fine either.  I had gotten comfortable and needed to step out of my stay at home mommy routine.  I have more energy and I've started to watch Chris and Heidi Powell's show.  Have you seen it?  They are absolutely amazing and if you aren't inspired by them then I don't know what to tell you.  Chris seems as if he is the most genuine guy out there and I would give anything to meet Heidi and him.

So there you have it!  I'm on quest now to lose weight AND to find a new jogging stroller.  I want to start working out with the kids and I'm torn between a BOB and the Baby Jogger Summit X3.  If anyone would like to give me advice on which one to get then I'm all ears.  I want to find my love of walking again and rock the new mommy body...

OR????? This sexy beast?

Umm about that singing....

So just when I was singing my tune about not having cancer, the work gods decided to send my hubby for another little training session.  That seemed to last forever and I was feeling as if I was in the titanic without anyone here to help.  I didn't even have a babysitter at the time to spare me.  Ha ha but I did survive with only four hours of sleep a night and made it up till the day before he came home.  Yep, lucky me I somehow managed to fight the monkey bars while trying to save my daughter from falling and took a blow to my head.  I have tried to make light of me having a concussion, but its been pretty bad at times.  I've had memory and word retrieval issues these past couple of weeks.  I am just now getting to be where I feel almost normal.  If I overdo it then I'm weak and have to rely on hubby to help.  I actually ended up having two fainting spells and not being able to drive for a week which just plain sucks.  I think when 2014 is done and over with that I'll be happy.  I won't go into the woes of Kerri because really who wants to hear every bloody detail.  Trust me no one is THAT interesting and I'm definitely not.  Witty at times, yes, but 24/7 interesting definitely not....

The Hills Are Alive....

Yes, yes do you know the next line???  Yep, with the sound of music!  Think Julie Andrews and not Carrie Underwood though please.  I can't begin to tell you what a wonderful word "benign" truly means to me.  I have been so busy enjoying small moments with my girls and to be completely thankful I do not have cancer.  Now I have to keep getting checked up on the nodule on a regular basis unless I feel its become larger then I need to go in before then.  However, after the doctor told me the news, I cried.  I had been so worried and wondered what life would be like if I wasn't here for the girls.  No one should have to go through that and it actually makes me a bit misty eyed that this small ordeal can conjure up those emotions again.  I tried to settle my affairs just in case and some little things like my daughter's christmas stocking I started to try to complete.  Little things that you procrastinate because you think you have all this time in the world, but in fact you really don't.  By the way, I found someone who can finish her stocking and I just need to pick out a color for it and life should be good.  I have it hanging up so I can send it out next week so I won't forget.  Hey, its almost Christmas in July isn't it?!?

Anyway, I have been so busy because hubby is back to coming and going again.  My day when he isn't home in the evening is about a good 14 hours and sometimes it pushes into 16 hours.  When I get five hours of uninterrupted sleep, I'm on top of the world.  Isn't that just sad lol?  I have a girlfriend in Texas and she was astonished I was already up and moving and I admitted to her I got more than my usual 3-4 hours.  Those days when I get so little of sleep are the days I'm dragging.  I pray my kids go down for quiet time at the same time and of course when I desperately want them to they seem to sense my weakness and like little barracudas pounce on me.  Yes, yes I do love my tiny overlords, but dang they keep me busy.  Anyway, this is just a quick update.  Please know I have not forgotten my blog.  I don't know how other mommy bloggers find the time.  Although my new zest on life, I did join twitter.  I tweet mostly about mommy things of course!!!  Just don't ask me to explain hashtags yet #####!

Ostrich Moments

So our brand new water heater had a leak in the drain pan and it was pouring water out.  This soaked the carpet in the other room and we had restoration guys come out once again.  Since my computer is in that room and I can't go in,  I've stolen my hubby's computer for the moment to write a quick update.  Hubby says soon I'll have my computer room back.  I admit I haven't wanted to blog much lately.  All I can think about has been my results of the biopsy that I just got done.  It wasn't exactly pain free and I'm glad I didn't read too many Fine Needle Aspiration stories before going in.  I read them afterwards.  Some of them were downright scary and if you need one done then I would suggest staying away from the internet.  Hubby had to watch the kids so I went alone to the appointment.  There are times as a parent, you want someone to hold your hand.  It doesn't happen very often, but I wish he had been there, bad jokes and all.  During it, the one nurse touched my shoulder in a comforting manner and it is exactly what I needed.  I needed to know someone cared and knew that I struggled as I laid there while they inserted needle after needle into me.  I have had crazy thoughts of well maybe that nodule will just pop and disappear like a bad zit when they do the procedure.  However, reality sits in and I must stop being the ostrich with its head in the sand.  So I wait and wait some more.  I try to spend my time with the kids and keep myself busy till I know.

Bumblebee Moments

Has it really been a month since my last post?  I'm not even sure where to begin anymore.  My life has been thrown for a complete 180.  I once read a fortune cookie that said to never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.  Well I think I'm in trouble and I'm not sure how to go about it.  As you know I was expecting to get a clean bill of health on tests and right now I'm scheduled to do further testing.  I once had a boss who told me that the reason he hired me was because I wasn't afraid of anything.  I told him I think I'm afraid of everything.  I was young then and grew into my own as an adult and didn't have much to worry about.  I had a great journey and often times very painful, but I pulled through.  Now I'm faced with something to really worry about.  It has kept me up at night and my nights are filled with taking care of the baby and just thinking about the future.  People will tell me it will be okay, but how do they know for sure?

We had our water heater go out a couple of weeks ago.  Now I could have been extremely upset about the whole thing and trust me doing a rendition of Flashdance in the shower is definitely not as sexy as it seems.  However, I was able to take my mind off of the medical appointments for just a tiny fraction and that made it bearable for me.  Now there is not this huge distraction and I honestly can't wait for the upcoming appointments.  The pot that never boils quote really holds true here.  I have to wait till insurance figures out their part and that has taken an entire week.  Throughout it all though, I'm still a mommy and I have mommy duties.  I love my girls and they mean the world to me.  In martial arts, we always talked about living in the moment and I've had some great moments.  A couple of days ago, I showed my toddler this beautiful flying bumble bee which was enjoying the nectar of the flowers and it was such a great moment.  Another awesome thrilling moment was when my one year old discovered my belly button.  Best entertainment I think I've had in awhile.

Thank you for hanging in there with me and understanding why I don't always post.  If this is your first blog post read then I would suggest starting at the beginning.  I had WAY more entertaining things back in the day.  I'm hoping to get good news in the next few weeks and thats all I can do is hope for the best.  Hope everything is okay and I get to see more bumble bees in the future.

Facing the Facts

So you are probably thinking this chic never posts anymore.  Yep, I kind of agree with you.  I've got my hands full being a Mom and I love being a Mom, but no one ever raises their hand and chooses to do it alone for the majority of the time.  Well I'd been sick again and both girls were too.  My toddler had her first ear infection which isn't too shabby since I know many little ones struggle with reoccurring ear infections often.  Yes, RSV is nothing to sneeze at either.  Right now I'm in the middle of trying to wash everything they came into contact and if they wore it once then it goes right into the laundry.  During this RSV fiasco, I had my own doc appointments.  Well I learned a valuable lesson.  No one EVER wants to hear the C word when you are sitting in a doctor's office.  I promise I'll explain more later when I get all the tests done.  However, you do sit back and start thinking about things and since it runs in my family, I just have to wait till they give me that piece of paper saying I'm fine in order for me to be completely satisfied.  Anyway, that about sums up the past two weeks.  So if you are reading this then yes I had my hands full.

In other news, my daughter started speech therapy sessions and I am so excited about that.  Its a hard thing to admit your toddler needs help in that category.  I hear other toddlers just yap away and it makes me feel pretty much a failure when I'm around other kids.  I do have a girlfriend who was pregnant the same time as I was and she has a similar struggle with her little boy.  I made the joke with her that maybe they communicated via womb teleconferencing they would be a handful when it comes to speech.  Okay, in all seriousness, it is a struggle for me to not hear my daughter say Mommy.  She can say Daddy just fine, but I get mostly cries and whines when she wants something from me.  I wish you knew just how much it tears me up inside to even admit all of this.  However, this is my blog about mommy truth and if you have ever watched Stewie say Mommy a billion times and run away then honestly that is what I secretly crave.  It's hard to face the facts and the speech therapist did say it had nothing to do with me, but sometimes it can't be helped.  I think as parents we beat ourselves up over things and this is my struggle.  If you are reading this and your child is not performing at the level they should then you are not alone.  The assistance that my girlfriend and I are receiving is on a state level and we both have the same program even though we are in different states.  It is called Infants and Toddlers and I encourage you to not wait if you suspect your child is not yapping clearly enough.